Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize