Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
