If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am available for nakedness
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