ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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