so explain again why im purple
no
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
