And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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