I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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