He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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