So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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