My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
