I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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