you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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