Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize