We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
