that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
