So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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