I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize