Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
