For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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