Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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