Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
