i wish starbucks made bloody marys
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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