Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize