Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
two words: eviction party
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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