Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
