That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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