Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
