There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize