i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
