remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you had me at cake vodka
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
