I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
two words: eviction party
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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