wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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