she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
