I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She announced her abortion via fbk
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
