I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
