How'd it feel making her break her religion?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
