Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just pee around me
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
