fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
