I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize