hell yes lets make some ravioli
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
