Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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