just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize