Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
50% drunk capacity currently
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
