He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
