His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
