she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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