Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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