pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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