he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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