Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I need a burrito and a hug.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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