ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
