In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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