Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize