Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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