Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
