Me too!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize