let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
