i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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