Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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