sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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