So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize