I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
