I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think my moral compass just broke
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
