try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
