That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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