So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am midnight drunk by noon
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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