Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
